It’s that time of year again, when CES comes about and we see the great and good of tech come out and show us their new shiny toy. In my last video, I shared with you some of the WOW, the gadgets and tech that I would love to see in my own living room. Today, we are going to look at stuff that perhaps I wouldn’t want anywhere near it, or in the case of Sophia the robot, me for that matter.
I’m Stu, this is 3b and we are going to delve into the weirdness, the darkside and the tacky of CES 2018.
We all love gadgets, who doesn’t, but a lot of what ends up in our living rooms, is partly thankful to the not so great, the not so good, the mishaps and weird that pushes our thinking of what is possible. Sometimes this can produce true moments of wow, other times, despite still pushing tech and looking at how we can develop tech further. It can simply come across as a weird. Today we are going to revel in all that I weird at CES 2018
What comes to mind when I say the name Sophia? Perhaps Sophia Lauren, an old school movie goddess, who made many a grandad go weak at the knees. Perhaps, the name places you back to a time day dreaming of snogging (making out to our American friends), dreaming of Sophia from high school, who was three years older than us and had girl stuff we had no idea to what to do with at 12. Or maybe this………..
Isn’t she lovely. Look how she moves. Doesn’t she make you want to take her out. Don’t you just want to kiss those latex lips and french kiss her………. it’s just wrong. Despite technology being amazing and we are living in an amazing time, we are far from being amazing when it comes to realistic human robots. Leave robotics to the likes of the makers of Big Dog and recently Atlas, the stunning and incredible, and awesome robot from Boston Dynamics. Not a single bit of latex in sight. Let’s not leave it up to some millionare who has some girlfriend issues and decided to make one and ended up with this!
Have $6000 sitting around burning a whole in your pocket…. worry not! How does a $6,000 toilet sound. Yes, you too can poo in style. How many times have you sat on your toilet, thinking…. “man, this aint my vibe dude! I need more tech when it comes to dropping the kids off at the pool!”…. Well, you are in luck. Introducing The Kohler Numi Toilet. A voice activated wonder of poop disposal. There’s a foot warmer to keep your tootsies cosey, it can play music – probably to drown out the farting, and a deodorizer too, to hide the smell of the same farting. Then to give everything and your roids a good old spritz, you have a selection of bidet functions; “pulsate”, “oscillate” and “wave” which will have you rinsed and fresh to take on the World, or more to the point, have you wondering, as you are having your bottom jet washed…. ‘why did I get this again?’
If you are like me and the rest of the World, Christmas is tough on the waist line and January we purge and cleanse from chocolate, alcohol induced festive frenzy. We work out, we go on diets, we wonder why our clothes have mysteriously shrunk, like all of them, even our socks and blame the washing machine for it once again. Well, your worries are over. No need to work out, no need to blame the washing machine, no need for anything, because tech has an answer to your slimming needs. Introducing the Modius Headband. Wearing this apparently sends signals through your noggin to the hyperthalmus which by giving it a bit of a tickle, stops you from feeling hungry. Now I am not too sure how long you wear this, but wearing it alone would enable you to stop eating so much, as none of your friends would want to invite you out to lunch looking like a tit!
Ever wanted to take an aerial shot of your bald spot? Have you mooched along somewhere on holiday and thought, hell this 15 foot long selfie stick isn’t upsetting by far enough people and I’m not getting enough of my big fat narcissistic head into this photo to then spread about the interwebs and nonsocial media for people I don’t know, but believe are my real friends to give me a thumbs up? Well, you are in luck. Introducing the AirSelfie! A tiny drone, that has a built in 12MP camera, that will buzz about you and take photos of how amazing you and your crew are as you do amazing things like, well, walking, pointing and smiling and pretend laughing.
Just in case some of weirdness of robots and automatic voice controlled pooping assistants wasn’t enough. This one is not a gadget, but weird, and actually a clever publicity stunt. Outside one room, were two very lifelike people, suspended in perspex cabinets. Entering the room, you were then greeted with a very creepy body of a naked man in a condensed soaked vacuum sealed bag. Hmmmm. What could this be? Perhaps a new way to sleep and loose weight? Or, a mail order dude service for lonely folk or want a rubber hunk delivered by Amazon? Nope! Actually it’s a promotion, a cheeky and clever one by Netflix of their new upcoming series Altered Carbon, due for release on 2 February.
Those then are my choices for the Worst and Weird of CES 2018. There is no doubting, that as tech becomes more a part of our everyday existence, companies will do their best to make them more weird as a result.